[During this post, I will be having some quotations from Melissa (a pseudonym); while I did not have an audio recorder with me, and I don’t remember the quotes word for word, my paraphrases below certainly reflect the messages she was trying to get across to me. I will also be putting some words in quotations to emphasize to the reader that a specific word was Melissa’s choice, and it may be a different term than I would generally use.]
Today I met with a woman (who I will call Melissa) who works for a non-profit agency in Jerusalem, thanks to the connection of a friend of mine. The agency she works for helps North American immigrants acclimate to Israeli society and it was also founded to “build strong ties between North American Jewish communities and Israel.â€
I met Melissa at her office and we had a nice talk for about an hour or so. Let me just give you some background first. She has a husband and four children (3 daughters and 1 son) and they all moved from New York about 20 years ago, and her family lives in Maale Adumim (the largest settlement in the West Bank). Melissa is a Zionist (she called herself that term, which according to UN Resolution 3379, is basically like calling yourself a racist) and is an Orthodox Jew who observes the Sabbath and believes that the moral laws of Judaism are very important to follow.
I think that for the few on this blog who have continually called on me to be in communication with those on the “other†side – this conversation I had with Melissa will count as a chance that I had to hear from the “other†perspective. Within the first few moments of our conversation, Melissa began to recount stories of friends of children who were attacked by “terrorists.†She told me story after story of friends that were killed, or injured by attacks by Palestinians; one man who is now a father and a husband but who is a paraplegic. All of her children served their time in the Army and she is very proud of the Israeli army.
She related a story once about how the soldiers at the border crossings down in Taba (crossing to Egypt) and Allenby Bridge (Jordan) were instructed to refrain from eating or drinking in from of the Muslims during Ramadan. Then she said that when she used to be able to drive through Bethlehem, she was always so offended that “those Palestinians†would sell bread in the streets on Passover. Melissa said, “It seems so interesting that while the Israeli army can be so respectful of another religious tradition and the Palestinians just can’t understand that.â€
Then we started to talk about my time so far in the Holy Lands and how I had been enjoying it. I told her it had been good, it was wonderful to live with the Palestinians and experience their love and hospitality. I mentioned that I was working with a non-profit organization in Bethlehem and the first question she asked was, “Hmm, do you know if Hamas is involved?†I said “No.†and she said, “Well, I’m kind of surprised. That is what is so ironic about Hamas – they are so involved in community development, non-profit groups, daycares, etc., and they are also so involved in terrorism. You sure you’re not involved with Hamas?â€
I told her we had definitely been hearing the Palestinian side of things this summer, and it was pretty intense to hear so many stories about Palestinians getting stopped at checkpoints, sometimes being kept there and not being able to get to hospitals to received needed medical attention. She said, “Well, I think you should probably come and see some of our hospitals here in Jerusalem – I’m sure you’ll find significantly more Palestinians here than Israelis…†[But, there are Palestinians who live in Jerusalem and East Jerusalem, so I’m not really sure what her point was]
Many times when she was talking about checkpoints and other forms of Israeli ‘security’ measures, she made references to the fact that when you’re a parent, you can’t just let your children do whatever they want, and not have consequences from some of their actions. “If a child misbehaves, you might have to take away their toy…or you might have to discipline them so they know it’s not okay to do that.†Obviously, in this analogy, Israel is the mature “parentâ€-figure, while Palestinians are the “children†that need to be disciplined. [At this point in the conversation, it helped that I am a passive-aggressive person who can nod and be polite even if I am incredibly disagreeing with the person on the inside. Then I come here and blog about it…]
I asked her, “So, had you always wanted to move to Israel? Was it something inspired by your parents, or…what was your reason for wanting to move here?†[When she and her family moved, her oldest daughter was 14 years old; so it was a big move for her family, and she admitted that she was, and is, the driving force behind coming and staying in Israel] Melissa responded, “Well, I am a Zionist and I believe that the land of Israel has always had a Jewish presence from the very beginning, you obviously see that in the Bible as well, and I believe that this land must belong to Israel. While I was born in America, this land is my spiritual home, and I couldn’t just be comfortable sitting at home in America when I knew that I had to do whatever I could do to make sure that I was a part of helping Israel. It was my responsibility to come here and make sure that the Land of Israel belong to the people of Israel.â€
Eventually we both realized that the conversation had gone about as far as it was going to go, so I asked her one last question: “So, what would you want people like me to know, people who have been hearing one side of this conflict all summer – what is the message you would want to get across?†This is how Melissa responded: “You must understand what it feels like to feel threatened. When all you want to do is go to work, go home, go out every now and then, raise a family, and to feel that your ‘entire existence is threatened’…when that happens, you must do anything that you can to fight for your family, for your land. It’s not something that you want to do – but you have to understanding – when you are threatened, you must protect yourself. Israel has the right to protect its citizens when it is threatened, and that is what Israel is doing.â€
Thoughts After
It was good for me to hear the other side, I will admit that. Melissa knew where I was coming from politically and she was glad to see that I made the effort to come and listen to her and hear her side of things. It is clear that to some degree there is suffering on both sides of this conflict. No doubt, just as there are Palestinians who are losing children and brothers and sisters and fathers and mothers, there are Israelis whose families are being torn apart by this violent conflict. It would be interesting to know exact numbers and statistics about how many Israelis and Palestinians have lost family members.
But again, even though there HAVE been many tragic events that have caused Israelis to die, it his hard to compare that to the entire Palestinian way of life being changed and in a sense, “killed.†To wall up an entire people and cause so much strife and loss…
Also I couldn’t help but hear a tone of superiority in much of Melissa’s language and attitude toward the conflict. It was pretty clear that she believed Israel was of course in the right, and the more mature, “parental†figure in this struggle. It was, as I have heard before, all about Israel’s security. Israel is not a weak nation.
I am glad I went. Melissa was very friendly and welcoming to me. She did ask me at one point if I had read the Bible and studied the Hebrew Bible extensively. She said, “You know – we’re called a stiff-necked people…and that can be a bad thing; but, it’s also a good thing at times.†Hmm. It was hard for me to listen to her perspective, because so much of it seemed so….I don’t know, so “off.†Has she driven through the West Bank? Has she really heard the stories of these people? Is she really feeling *that* threatened in her settlement-life? Again, I’m not Melissa and so I don’t know – but it’s really hard for me to believe…