Today I read “Speak” by Laurie Halse Anderson for my Youth & Young Adult Ministry course. I’m not sure if anyone has read it, but it is basically the account of a girl who had been raped the summer before her freshman year of high school. It is about the depression she goes through and all the other horrible things she experiences during her freshman year. It’s a good book – though I wouldn’t recommend it for “beach reading.”
Portions of the book take place in the cafeteria during lunch. It’s funny – when I think back to my junior high and high school years…they really actually pretty good for me. I didn’t hate junior high like almost everyone else I knew; granted, I thought I was pretty tough shit since I was both the Associated Student Body President and the Band President…
I was writing a reflection paper for the same class about my experiences in youth ministry and I was reminded of the high school cafeteria again. While I did youth ministry in Idaho, I was able to sign in to Wendell High School and eat lunch with the kids in my youth group and their friends. I thought it would be easy…just show up, walk into the cafeteria and all the kids would be excited to see me: “Hey Adam! Over here…! Hey guys – this is my awesome youth pastor, Adam!” But as I read “Speak” tonight, I was reminded of the feelings of insecurity that still exist when you first walk into the cafeteria. Immediately I’d look around, trying to find some student that I knew…if only I could just spot one. Meanwhile, the “cool” high school girls, football players and jocks are staring at this random guy with a beard and a Papa Kelsey’s sandwich bag standing in the doorway of the rather small cafeteria…
It’s funny how some of those feelings and fears of junior high and high school never really leave us. For me, it was the cafeteria: who to sit with? Would they leave soon after you sat down? How long would you have to stand there looking stupid with your tray before you saw someone you wanted to (or could) sit with? And that followed me to Idaho when, as a 24-yr old youth pastor, I stood in the doorway, scanned the cafeteria, and was incredibly intimidated by 12 and 13-yr old kids. That’s lasting power. And to read this story and think about some of the things that people do to this girl, and the ways they treat her – it’s really pretty horrible. It’s just a reminder to those of us who do, or hope to do, youth ministry, that we must not forget the power of experiences (both good & bad) during those formative years in our students’ lives.